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 Adventure in Alkamus (Prologue.)

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Black321

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PostSubject: Adventure in Alkamus (Prologue.)   Sat Mar 13, 2010 10:04 pm

------Avian sat at the gate of the town. Today was the day he and his friend were going to sneak away from the prospering hell known as Charlenge, and into the explored wonders of Alkamus's huge region.
------Tails of riches drove them to do it-- aided by the fact that they were hated through town helped more! They didn't need to be popular, but they shouldn't have been hated either.
------Sayian broke the silence, by calling Avian's name. "The guards! Their coming! Climb the fence quickly!"
------Avian jumped at the call, instincts kicking in, he gripped onto the cold metal bar of the gate. "Got it!" he called, as he started pulling himself up and over the "freedom stopper". They had practice from the days before, in hopes they would never get caught.
------
As he looked back to see if Sayian was okay, he felt a tap on his should, and turned, ready to attack if needed. It was Sayian.
------ "God Sayian you freaked me out! Got your Acx?" he asked frantically.
------ "I do," Sayian smirked. "Always do."
------"Good," Avian muttered, as he turned to walk away. "We have only ten miles til Hydra Lake." With this, he casted a black light which flew from his hand, and through a tree, which fell over. "I hope you kept your powers to date as well."
--

OMG SO SORRY IT'S SHORT! I couldn't take much time, so this is what I'll cal the "Prologue!"
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DuelistSater

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PostSubject: Re: Adventure in Alkamus (Prologue.)   Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:00 am

This is a very good story. Keep up the good work! Also, there were three spelling errors, and technically, you should put a ' in front of till. But other than that, very good story!
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Black321

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PostSubject: Re: Adventure in Alkamus (Prologue.)   Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:17 am

Actually till is a word on its own, but 'til is the other.
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Joey
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PostSubject: Re: Adventure in Alkamus (Prologue.)   Sun Mar 14, 2010 3:55 pm

nice story
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Black321

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PostSubject: Re: Adventure in Alkamus (Prologue.)   Thu Mar 18, 2010 4:20 pm

Oh, something I didn't explain.

An "Acx" is a type of water that let's them store items in.
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Joey
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PostSubject: Re: Adventure in Alkamus (Prologue.)   Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:31 pm

oh I thought you were talking about a axe
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